Valentine’s Day Delusions

   Valentine’s Day annoys me. What was so sweet in elementary school—passing out dime-store cards and tiny candy hearts—has morphed into a day of stratospheric expectations that cost megabucks to fulfill. Jewelry, flowers, candy and, of course, the obligatory dinner with champagne at an expensive restaurant.

   What really baffles me is that the burden has shifted entirely to the men; they’re the ones who have to pony up all the goodies while the women get to bask in princess land for an entire day. How come the women don’t have to reciprocate? On second thought, maybe they do. The one thing the guys can be sure of is that after draining their bank account, at least they’ll get laid.

   Truth is, I don’t want to feel special on one prescribed day out the year. If I’m seeing someone who doesn’t spontaneously make me feel special at random times throughout the year, but really comes through on V-Day, he’s not the one for me.

   My BF is one of those guys who get it. The fancy dinners, the diamonds—he knows they’re lost on me. But when he’s at Staples and picks up a package of printer paper for me because he knows I probably need it, well, that melts my heart. And when we cook dinner together at my house, he insists—yes insists—on helping me clean up. If he’s having an especially busy week and we don’t have a lot of time together, he’ll drop by for a quick hug and bring me lunch in the bargain.

   These things all add up to romance for me. We do enjoy candlelit dinners from time to time, but we have them because we want to, not because it’s February 14.

   I really worry about couples who buy into the V-Day obligations. How can you force the warm and fuzzy feelings you’re supposed to have on Valentine’s Day? What if you just happen to be in a bad mood that day? And for the guys, what if their efforts fall short? Anything can screw it up: a B-list restaurant, amethysts instead of diamonds, failing to say the right words. Ugh! The pressure is ridiculous.

   I issued an edict to BF this year. Do nothing for Valentine’s Day, and I mean nothing. If he wants to spend the evening together, we might throw some burgers on the grill and share some Chronic (my new favorite wine, not the weed). Good conversation and a lot of laughter are my diamonds and roses.

   So tell me: am I a total Grinch, or am I on to something?

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